Hold Me Harder Read online

  “But you are not inexperienced, are you,” Javier went on. “You discovered this already, I think.”

  “I admit, I’m not opposed to seeing my handprint go from white to red on a woman’s ass,” Ryan said, his voice a low, caustic rumble.

  Javier chuckled. “Well, there is the inflicting of pain, and the inflicting of pleasure, eh, cabrón?” He dropped the belt onto the floor in front of Natalie’s face and knelt behind her. His hands stretched along her rib cage and he traced her outline, in at her waist, out with the flare of her hips; the reverse of Ryan’s path. The scratch of his fingers left glowing trails across her skin but for where he interrupted them with the soft press of his lips—in the shallow depressions low on her back, then lower, along the crease where her bottom joined her leg.

  Natalie breathed in hopeful little pants, but Javier stopped short of her darkest, most intimate places, though his breath drifted over her, torturing her. Without a touch, he drew her taut, and then he grasped her hair.

  “Up, pequeña.” As she sat back on her heels, Javier tucked close behind her. He reached around to grasp her breast, her flesh bulging between his fingers, and she didn’t know whose indrawn hiss she heard first, Ryan’s or her own. She stared into the unfocused distance as she felt herself begin to climb toward the softness of subspace.

  Javier rose onto his knees, taking her with him. His free hand drifted down her body to curve between her legs, where his finger slipped easily through her wet heat. The sound of his gratification thrummed against her back and he pulled her tighter to him, his erection straining under his jeans, fitting along the cleft of her bottom. “Did you wonder why I would ever suggest Ryan and I might share you, cariño?”

  Natalie’s throat was too thick to answer. She could only respond with the smallest shake of her head.

  “Stay with me, pequeña.” His hand grazed up her chest until his fingers pushed against the points of her jaw to raise her chin. “Look at him,” he whispered. “Look how he sees you.”

  Slowly, she focused on Ryan, his heavy, inscrutable stare as he watched her body possessed, witnessed strong hands claiming her. Her arousal spiked hard, a violent beat between her legs.

  Javier grunted. “Si, she’s enjoying this far more than you are, cabrón.” He slid his hand over her mouth and pulled her head back onto his shoulder.” I wonder,” he said against her cheek. “Will it please me to see you this way with him, see his hand over your mouth, his fingers deep inside you?”

  A moan vibrated in the hollow of her throat as he pressed into her, his thumb drawing up and down, teasing her with near brushes of her clit. So very close. She fought her body to keep her hips from rebelling, from arching into his hand.

  “Or will it anger me?” he whispered. “Make me want to snatch you from his arms and fuck you senseless for your effrontery.”

  Natalie whimpered as her muscles seized around his fingers, a small buzz of orgasmic energy bursting inside her like the grounding of an electrical wire. Just a zap to let off excess voltage.

  “Now, now, pequeña,” he said, the edges of his teeth sliding down her neck, warning her. “You know better.”

  He circled his thumb around her aching clitoris and curled his fingers inside her, over and over, until she could only breathe in, her lungs burning, oversaturated. “No coming,” he reminded her. “Not until I release you.”

  Fuck that. Fuck this. Everything strained—her back, her hips, the tendons in her thighs. She pushed against Javier’s hand and tried to take.

  With a suddenness that shocked her, he sat back, jerking her mental tether, depriving her of his heat, of the support of his body. She swayed on her knees, his disappointment washing over her, black as ink. She glanced blearily at Ryan. His deep scowl only added to her apprehension.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “When have I ever accepted I’m sorry, pequeña?” Javier pulled her arms back. “A reminder, then.” He wound his belt around her wrists, bound her tight, and pressed her head back to the floor between Ryan’s feet.

  A warm, smooth-skinned hand spread between her shoulder blades. “I’ve never seen you more beautiful,” Ryan whispered, his fingers running featherlight down her arm, tracing the edge of the belt, and then sweeping gently over her bottom.

  “Are you all right, pequeña?” Javier asked.

  She nodded, shaking strands of her hair down over her eyes.

  “We’ll try again, then.”

  Natalie heard the zip of five buttons freeing in rapid succession as he jerked open his jeans. His fingers dug into her hips hard enough to create a vivid flash, and without warning, he thrust inside her, balls deep, filling her in one uncompromising stroke. “You don’t get to make demands, pequeña.” He punctuated his admonition with another deep plunge that drove her head against the sofa. “You aren’t in control. Not with me.”

  She didn’t want to be, not really. She wanted to let Javier propel her up and up, until only he and she existed in the wispy nothingness. But he wouldn’t allow it. He drew backward in an excruciating retreat he knew would push her over the edge if he kept it up.

  Ryan got in on the game to keep her grounded. He brushed her hair off her face, drew his thumb over her lips. “I’m tempted to make you take my cock in your mouth, Natalie,” he said. “So every one of his strokes drives you down my shaft until I can feel the back of your throat closing over me.”

  She groaned, her imagination fully equal to his, her desire inescapable. Javier hissed in a ragged breath when she clenched around him. He stopped with only his smooth crown of his cock inside her. They hung there, silent and still.

  Natalie ground her teeth and kept herself from rocking back and demanding the contact she so desperately craved. Seconds upon seconds of grasping, twitching muscles and silent pleas for relief.

  God, Javier was cruel.

  And perfect.

  Perfectly cruel.

  He ran his palms over the roundness of her raised bottom, his thumbs gliding through the cleft between. “I can see why you’d want her to, cabrón.” Slowly, Javier eased himself deep inside her. “I will never tire of the sight of my cock disappearing between her lips.” He pulled back just as slowly, and then, gradually, with the precision of years of experience, his pace accelerated.

  He drove through her, sleek and absolute, forcing low cries from her, desperation given voice. She wanted to scream with the depth of her need, with the pain of staving off her orgasm, and its pleasure. But those same clashing ecstasies kept her attentive to her submissive side. If she lost control, it would all be for naught. He’d leave her naked and destitute.

  And so she bit her lip and tried to find the elusive mastery of her body, all while Javier ground out how he would have used her had she remained his, how he would use her once again, as he uttered vulgar Spanish curses that made her want to be and do all the things he spoke of. He fanned the fire inside her, scorched her from the inside out.

  “Oh fuck,” she breathed.

  “Hey,” Ryan snapped, his voice cutting through her fog. “Hold up, cowboy.”

  Javier halted and pulled suddenly free of her. “Hostias, cariño,” he said, stretching on the carpet alongside her, careful not to touch her anywhere with more than a gentle finger. “Look at me. What happened to your safe word?”

  “Don’t stop,” she said. “Please don’t.”

  “You’re crying, Natalie,” Javier said. “You’re too far out of practice, even for this nothing.” He pushed another loose strand of hair out of her eyes.

  His face, stern and loving, drifted in and out as she blinked slowly. “It’s so good,” she said. “I forgot.”

  Ryan groaned above her, and she uttered a breathy laugh. She’d heard that exasperated sound so many times. “I know, babe,” she said. “What can I say? I like the torture.”

  Javier reached between her legs and she inched them apart. “I want nothing more than to torture you, pequeña.” His fingers played over her in sl
ow, luxurious swirls. “But I think we should stop.”

  “No!” Natalie begged. “Please, Javier. This might be my only chance.”

  “Don’t fret, cariño. There’s always another time.”

  She blinked at him, stunned. He wouldn’t leave her like this. “You can’t.”

  One corner of his mouth twitched. Games. He was messing with her.

  “Oh, you fucking sadist,” she slurred.

  Without removing his hand, Javier rose and shifted behind her. He slid deep inside her, gentle at first, then hard and fast, with no let-up this time. Natalie gasped and panted through parted lips as he used her, thrilled her, and finally, graciously, allowed her climax to engulf her.

  Her body was limp, but her heart still beat a thunderous rhythm when Javier gave her the closest he would ever come to a playful swat and said, “No rest, pequeña.”

  “What?” she gasped.

  He touched a finger to the thudding vein in her neck. “I let you take your pleasure. Now it’s our turn, or have you forgotten how this goes?”

  Natalie stared into his deep green eyes and admitted nothing.

  “You squandered more than a year with me, and for months you played a cruel game with Ryan. You owe each of us restitution.”

  Natalie’s blood surged through her veins. “I should have known,” she said under her breath.

  “You should have,” he agreed. “Nothing comes free, cariño. And your Ryan still has plans tonight.”

  In a split second, as if she were little more than a roped calf, Javier had her ass up, face down over Ryan’s thighs. “Give him your safe word.”

  “Estepona,” she said automatically, even though she hadn’t spoken it in over a year.

  “Estepona,” Ryan said, wrapping his mouth around the Spanish word. “Good thing we won’t need it.” He circled his palm across the entire surface of her backside, at once soothing and nerve-racking. “Only five, Nat. Since I was partly to blame.”

  She nodded as anxiety-coated desire unspooled inside her. She’d never let anyone other than Javier strike her.

  “Add five for me, cabrón,” Javier said. “For insulting me. I’m no sadist.”

  “Fine. Ten, then. You count, Natalie,” Ryan said. “And no complaints. I owe you twice as many for getting off on making me watch you two the last couple of days, so consider yourself lucky. And try not to scream your throat raw. I have plans for it after this.”

  Natalie said, “Yes, Ryan,” and Javier ruffled his fingers through her hair.

  “This might just work out well, cariño. I like your Ryan. I think the three of us will do fine.” He sat down across from them, his hand idly tracing up and down his cock as it hardened once again.

  Ryan anchored his hand across her lower back, and Javier offered him a small nod. Natalie turned and looked hard over her other shoulder as Ryan raised his hand. “Almost like my limo fantasy. What do you say?”

  A small, gratified smile tugged at her lips.

  “Please, Ryan.”

  Natalie opened her eyes to a shaft of bright sunlight spearing across the ceiling. It took her two blinks to work out where she was, and a slow grind of her brain to identify all the parts that surrounded her. Javier’s back to her front, and Ryan’s hips against her butt, his thigh tucked up against hers from behind, someone’s fingers tracing over her hip.

  “We left marks,” Ryan whispered.

  She glanced down. “It’s okay. No one besides us will see them.”

  “I never bruised you before.”

  Natalie couldn’t be sure if it was wonder or sadness she heard in his voice. She put her hand atop his. “No, you didn’t. You were always careful of me. But this isn’t you being careless.”

  He hummed, accepting her response, she hoped, and settled closer against her back.

  The sun was up, and Javier shouldn’t still be in bed, but here he was. The thought that they were all still lying there like a pile of puppies brought a smile to Natalie’s face. How was it possible she’d fallen in love with two men who would willingly share her?

  Ryan’s fingers twitched again on her leg. “What’s so funny?” Natalie craned her neck to look over her shoulder, and when she did, Ryan captured her lips with his before she could answer. “Morning, babe,” he said.

  He scooted back enough to allow Natalie room to turn onto her back, gently, so as not to wake Javier. “You aren’t feeling smug, are you?” she asked.

  “Maybe a little.” He pressed his forehead against her temple. “I missed you so fucking much.”

  Tears pricked her eyes. She had missed him, too, even though she’d spent so much of their time apart convincing herself he was the villain. “I’m so sorry, Ryan.”

  “No, babe, don’t.” He caught the rogue tear that escaped from the corner of her eye with his lips, just before it made it to her ear. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “It’s an angry tear—anger at myself. I’m allowed one.”

  His finger traced her features—the curve of her eyebrow, the ridge of her cheekbone, the end of her nose. “Fine. One. But that’s all. We’re starting over. All of us.”

  His words brought back a question Natalie had thought about deep in the night, but hadn’t had the nerve to ask. She turned again, this time to face him. “You aren’t bothered when Javier and I…”

  His face took on a comical air of expectation. “When you…? Say it, Natalie. You know I love it when you talk dirty.”

  “Ass.” Natalie gave him a light shove to the chest.

  He pressed his hand atop hers, holding her palm over his heartbeat, his expression serious. “Yesterday, after I met with Javier, I did a little research. I didn’t want to react in a way that would freak you out. I needed to know what to expect, and to be prepared. I kept seeing this term, compersion.”

  Natalie shook her head. “Never heard of it.”

  “Me, either. Everywhere I looked described it the same way: the flip side of jealousy. The feeling of being genuinely happy seeing your lover enjoy another lover.”

  “Huh. So, is that how you reacted?”

  Ryan sniffed. “Not exactly. Not fully. But it was remarkable how much I enjoyed watching him take you into deeper submission as the night went on. Granted, I probably would have enjoyed it more if I’d gotten you there, but as far as second places go, it wasn’t terrible.”

  “So glad to have entertained you,” Natalie replied, smiling as his hand smoothed over her bottom. There had to be significant marks there, too. And on her thighs, and…well, a lot of places.

  “You were beautiful, and your enjoyment was beautiful. There were moments I wanted to yank you away, but…” His gaze turned inward. “I’m surprised by the emotions it spurred. And what it didn’t spur.”

  “So, you don’t want to kill Javier?”

  “I didn’t say that, did I?”

  “Can you two hijos de las gran putas save this conversation for when someone isn’t trying to sleep?” Javier’s voice, so annoyed and gruff, even muffled by his pillow, made both Natalie and Ryan grin.

  “What did he say?” Ryan asked.

  “He called us sons of big bitches. He’s mad,” Natalie mock-whispered in reply.

  Ryan snorted a laugh, and Javier made a show of putting a pillow over his head.

  Natalie pulled her lips between her teeth. When she composed herself, she picked up the corner of the pillow. “Sorry, mi sol,” she told Javier. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the barns?”

  “No,” he said, with a regal air. How he did it in one word, Natalie had never figured out. “I made arrangements with the foreman, and now they are wasted.”

  Natalie turned over and pressed her body against Javier’s. “Aw, now who’s the grumpy one?” She spooned her legs with his and reached around his hip, not the least surprised to find him hard, although after last night, he could be excused for being worn out.

  She closed her fingers around him and dragged upward, then adjusted her hold to
include his balls. His rumble of pleasure vibrated through his back, joined by Natalie’s “Oh!” as, from behind, Ryan drew a finger through her exposed flesh, finding her wet, if a bit tender. He fitted against her, his cock between her legs, smoothing across her with slow, gentle strokes. Strokes she matched with her hand on Javier’s cock. And when Ryan pushed inside her, she squeezed Javier tighter, her hand moving up and down with ever more purpose.

  It was an interesting ballet, the three of them. In the silence of morning, Natalie was exquisitely aware of every small noise, and every more substantial one. Grunts and sighs, Ryan speaking in English behind her, Javier in Spanish in front her, the sounds her body made as Ryan filled her and retreated. Nothing above a whisper, just the softness of the three of them moving as one, languid and fluid, until Ryan’s fingers tightened on her hip, and Natalie used the back of Javier’s thigh to stimulate her clit, his hand closing over hers, the blur of motion as they worked together. Their climaxes broke over them, somehow nearly synchronous, and, in the way of early morning sex, sleepily. Less sound and fury, more soft solemnity.

  As they lay in each other’s arms after, Natalie nestled in a cocoon of warm skin and cotton sheets, she couldn’t think of any place she’d rather be. For too long she’d buried her true self, and now she ached to be free.

  “We’re doing this, right?” she said. “Not just last night, but again.”

  “Maybe,” Ryan said.

  “No,” Javier stated.

  Natalie’s eyes flew open, and Ryan raised his head, both of them looking in Javier’s direction, neither of them seeming to breathe. His eyes remained peacefully closed, but the corners of his lips twitched in a terrible, devious hint of a smile. “Next time Ryan gets the hand job. I want to be buried inside you.”

  “Oh, you wretch,” Natalie said, but she didn’t have the energy to state it as forcefully as she’d have liked. There was a small poof behind her as Ryan’s head hit the pillow.

  “It’s up to you, cariño,” Javier said, patting her thigh. “Remember? That’s the point.”

  Behind her, Ryan’s breaths deepened and grew slower, and before long, Javier’s did as well. Natalie already knew her decision, and knowing these men, they did, too. Still, if she’d learned one thing yesterday, it was that they would want her to affirm it.